231: When the Morning Comes.

I promised myself that this will only be the length of one beer. Well, there is two swigs left and it is pretty warm at this point. In fact, I am not going to lie, it is kicked.

That is all I have got at this point.

Watch the video below. I know I know, I'm late to the game, but what? I took a break and got inspired. I like that this video uses the sheer genius of the Rube Goldberg, which was another favorite in the Dan Dunn arsenal of cool shit to know. Also, was how to toss an egg off the roof of the school without damaging it.

One take. The whole film cycles through on one take. Or appears to. And I can guarantee that you will find something new every time. Note the State Farm Insurance truck that kicks off the whole Rube Goldberg. Apparently this has been garnering OK Go a lot of attention for its bold drastic take on product placement. Note the "OK Go Thanks State Farm for making this possible" at the end.

I love that this band will never run out of great video ideas. Thanks OK Go.



The video that it instantly brought to mind was this Michel Gondry music video called "Lucas with the Lid Off". For a couple reasons. One of them being the format of the frame and how it moved through the video with the action. The other for its sheer ingenuity (and Solo Take on the action). This was the one thing that fascinated me more than anything in film school. The opening of Touch of Evil (I've talked about this before right?) and the Royal Tenenbaum's ending. So good. But, what they do really well in the above OK Go one is seal the fact that this is a production by showing us the people behind the scenes in the final shot. I get that the whole thing is behind the scenes, but I mean the people making sure that everything is running smoothly behind the camera.

You get little snippets, glimpses of the genius of the action in the Gondry one, but it mostly comes from the main character, who, similar to the band members of OK Go keep re-appearing. Gondry deliberately shows us shots of equipment (cameras etc) but the entirety of the This Too Shall is the background. Everything is revealed in the unfolding of the Goldberg Machine. Whew, this is exhausting and way more than a beers worth. Even a tall Olympia. Know why?

Because there is more.




And here is the really strange part. There is another official video. I read through this letter from OK Go where they break down how the Music Industry works - for them - and then they gave a link to a website where you could watch the video for their new single and this is it. Apparently this was actually the first video that they released for their most recent album in January...

Oh Wikipedia how I love you so.

In any case there was one little section of the letter that seemed to make some sense. It went like this:

That moment – the dawn of internet video – is gone. The internet isn’t as anarchic as it was then. Now there are Madison Avenue firms that specialize in “viral marketing” and the success of our videos is now taught in business school. But here's a secret: zillions of hits was never the point. We're a rock band, and it’s a great gig. Not just because we get to snort drugs off the Queen of England (we do), but because the only thing we are expected to do is make cool stuff. We chase our craziest ideas for a living, and if sharing those ideas takes 40 websites instead of one, it doesn’t make too big a difference to us.

Well, thanks again guys. For being crazy, awesome, and honest. And a welcome distraction to the question of "Who's going to win the Tour de France?" Because, we all know that it is going to be A. Schleck. Or Contador. I can't decide. King of Spain? Or the Lads from Luxe?

Are there any good Tour de France T-Shirts that are going to be rocked for this extravaganza?

Ok, back to work there are fucking magazines to make people.

230: Two Point Five

I read on the Velocepede Salon that someone was looking for Volumes 1 and 2 of Embrocation the other day. That made me smile, for a moment, but then it made me cringe in horror as to what they might think when they saw them. The really fun one was the next person to respond that he even had Volume 2.5 and that it was a "smaller supplement that was issued because there was so much time between 2 & 3. " Anyway, here is the post if you want to see it (or have some early Embrocations that you want to give to the person in want.)

It made me think about that issue, 2.5. And that it did come out for just those reasons. I wanted to make something quick and dirty and get it out fast. All the content was there at that point, but it still needed to happen. I think it might have been our man Gustavo (whom you will see more of later this week) who really put it to us to do this "supplement" - what a great word. The whole of the 250 issues that were printed fit into my backpack - almost- I had to carry one box. But, it really does not matter at that point, when you are riding that one home. Weight, it really is not on your back, or shoulders at that point.

There are a few original pieces in that little guy though, and when I opened it up, there were more than I remembered. What did I remember about the whole situation was this: I needed to get an issue done, something - anything before I went over to Belgium to hang out with Molly and see the racing scene there. I knew that trip would spawn, or spurn, or spurt a whole mess of new content and if I did not get this stuff out (to keep going) that would not be good - all these stories piling up on top of one another.

But it was also an exercise in getting something done. In film school my friend Alex had this quote, and he used it all the time, with whatever he was working on. It went something like this:
No matter what you are working on, if you see the project through to its completion, whatever that is, it cannot be a failure. I'm paraphrasing it, or at least getting the wording wrong, but it really has been one of these monikers that sticks by. When you get to that point where you struggle with something, throw your hands up and go "Why the fuck am I doing this anyway." That is when I remember Alex. (He now makes actual films - about Uganda - in Uganda).


Jesse Lalonde did the above piece. It is about him breaking his shoulder over a barrier in Wisconsin. He does all the rad rad design coming out of the Trek world these days (that might be a bit of hyperbole as I do not know that for certain.) However, I do think that he did all the new Gary Fischer stuff. That is a good thing. He did the Lucador Shirt for us. Could possibly be my favorite Embrocation Shirt we have produced over the years.


This one got me in trouble. Not because I used the quote, but because it got misconstrued somehow. I wrote it down one night when we were talking late and drunken one night. Everyone was still basking in that post race glow that is easily enhanced by a few alcoholic beverages. The tongue was a little loose on just how awesome racing cyclocross is and Megan cut in with one of her usual hilarious and awesomely biting soundbites.

There was this. Words To Live By by Chris DiStefano. You could put together a whole book just based around the serious wisdom of this man. Someday (when he stops saying "you cannot print what I just said.") I'll compile that book. Until then, you are left with this. And since we are talking about CD, we might as well transition right into ZD. Zac put together this little start list that I am hoping is going to be used with the entirety of the MFG Cyclocross Series this year. Especially the "Vanilla Ice T-Shirt" Category.


Ok, two more and I promise I will stop boring you with these things. The first one (below) is a photo of the always beautiful Queen of New England Cyclocross (just made that up) Maureen Bruno Roy. I think I took this one at Gloucester a couple years ago and it is a great photo because she is beautiful. But wait! There is more. Check out Richard Sachs' brooding look to the far right - Awesome! Then, to really capitalize on not only the New England Scene, but also the three full on Cross Era's that are represented there is one of the Keough's (Jake?) in the far left - presumably waiting to crush some unsuspecting Junior. Also, how did I not know that Mo was putting recipes out into the world?


Ok, almost done. The one that first popped into my head was this one. Mark McCormack and I were talking about it on the B2B ride a couple weeks ago. He had/has been writing some Training Tips and tricks for people getting ready for the B2B. Awesome event by the way. But Mark did this little piece for me about riding Sand. Which in terms of layout and everything turned out to be one of pieces that I have done over the years (years?)...

The little book was just an experiment. It was half the size of Embrocation and the print quality was not nearly as nice(honestly, I think Comp Cyclist was a little bummed.) But, on the other hand it fits neatly into a jersey pocket and has a few snapshots that were not included elsewhere. So, if you have one that is pretty great because the one above is the only one that I've got.

On Writing, Right?

I have a problem with the word "no." On the other hand, I do not have a problem with the word "yes." Or depending on how you look at it maybe I just have problems all the way around?

I cannot say "no" to anything. This has been a problem in the past. Would I be interested in starting this bike racing team? Travel around the country and race bikes and possibly drink beers with my own band of merry men? Hell Yes! Would I like to go out for drinks? Well, yes, is the appropriate answer to that one as well. Be damned, work, or anything else that should get in the way of these leisurely activities. Should we fly to Panama to go rock climbing for three weeks? The answer, again, was — but of course.

This has also helped me to have some of the best, craziest experiences that one could imagine. They are not all good, that is not the way things work. But they are all something, I know that much to be true.

Without agreeing to certain things you will never find yourself in the back of a pickup truck staring at the Andes over your own shoes (with the caribineros de Chile shaking their fists at you.) You will also probably never find yourself naked from the waist up on an operating table in another in a third world country getting moles removed. One does not blow up boulders with hand molded nitro-glycerin, while chewing cacao, by saying "no thank you." And you certainly can not take shots of tequila from the business end of a glass shotgun by saying "I think I'll pass." Just sayin.


The point of this little word "yes" is to illustrate exactly how I found myself in Bill Strickland's Bicycling Magazine office one fine day early this summer. This, in fact, is where these photos come from. And if you leave me in your office alone, long enough, I will photograph most of it.

His wife Beth had put it to me a few days earlier that I should come down and see the opening night of the Lehigh Valley Velodrome with them. We had just finished up the Rapha East Coast Gentleman's Race (the full video comes out July 1st) and I did not think it fair to say "no" to such a lovely lady after she had just ridden 120 miles. Plus, it was promised that I could see the prestigious offices of Bicycling Magazine, possibly get a little drunk, and definitely enjoy everything that is organic and edible from the food stand at the track. How, pray tell, do you say "no" to something like that? Besides, I had kept the drink going for maybe two, three nights now, what was a little bus ride for one more before returning to the West?

Now, with that being said, there were other things on the agende that I wished to explore while in Emmaus, PA. Neither of them had to do with Mr. Armstrength either. If you know what I mean, well, one of them did, but only in a sort of round about way. A tertiary text that came from the real truth here. Bill Strickland is a writer. And as someone who has the sort of inkling to do the same, well, I wanted to know what it takes, or took. The other? Well, the other is a little harder to pin down than that (because what it takes to be a writer is totally easy to pin down.)

So, that is how I found myself sitting in Bill's office. A little adventure, sure, I'm always up for that….but as far as I knew I was On Assignment, and if I did not keep my wits about me, as I would later see, I would easily be making the half mile trek from the velodrome to a huge house situated a mile down the road.

Now the first thing that we did NOT do upon arriving at the prestigious Bicycling Magazine was to talk about Tour de Lance. The book has been getting reviews all over the board. Mostly good, but there will always be some detractors. And that is fine. The subject, I could care less about, (sorry L, I don't mean that as a direct slam to you, I'm sure you're 'totes aws' [read: totally awesome]) what I was more interested in was the simple fact that a book had been written. Seriously! A whole book. And what's more? It is good. It makes sense. You read it from cover to cover and...wait for it... it tells a story.

I do not know many writers that have written books. (Do I?) A unpublished cycling romance novel, sure. Great rides and routes in the Portland area, yes. Wait, I have to take that back a little bit, my friend Lesley wrote a book called Dear Diary about being an adolescent girl and having a drug habit (or three). So, there is that.

Bill also edited this book On Being a Writer, which, obviously I have become totally fascinated with. Know why? Want to know why? Because, in it, he interviews Tom Robbins. Yes, that Tom Robbins. Tom Fucking Robbins. Remember him? You told that girl that you had a crush on that you actually read Still Life with Woodpecker to impress her, then went out and found it just in case she question you on it? That Robbins.


The first Tom Robbins book I read was Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. I stole it from my aunt and read it on the beach (after she finished it of course) and I remember a strangeness coming over me. I was now witness to the world that my parents and their siblings had been/were a part of, but never talked about. For example, if I was off belly down in the sand enjoying HST (Hunter S. Thompson) then they were joking to each other about how cute I was with my new tattoos and quest for edgy writing, all the while gobbling up anything T. Robbins had to offer.

AND Bill was out traveling to Seattle to interview him. Damn, that is what I call a writer. On assignment. For Playboy, or Rodale, or a gunslinger for hire. It does not matter.

He (and we're back talking about Bill here) gets to travel the world and interview cyclists. Or rather stand beside their buses and observe what they're doing. Maybe mark it all down in a notebook, maybe sneak behind a building or two to mark it down in a notebook. But either way - He's Doing It! And I will not ever stop applauding him for that. No matter how much he has resigned himself to not travel this year (I do it out of envy - sorry.)

Rouleur 18 is a pretty damn good example of this. (and if you have made it this far I applaud you). On the first page of writing, in what will go down in history as one of my favorite Rouleur's yet Strickland has written this...

At the finish, I walk among the racers like a human among wraiths, wondering what it means to me, for me, for all of us that they have done this to themselves once again. I don't like to talk to them then, though some of them want to. I watch. I take notes I rarely use. There is almost no way to write it right.

And this, is pretty much how I feel every day. I travel to events like the tour of California and get caught up in talking to a bartender that is struggling to comprehend what is happening around her (what? she was cute) or all the way to Ghent to see the fabled Tour of Flanders and am content enough to watch it from the corner of a bar, and then I feel bad about it. But it is writing like this - like the Tour de Lance, or pretty much anything coming from Rouleur (however haughtily) that gives me a little bit of hope.


I guess that is probably what I found that day, sitting with Bill and reading over a cartoon about Lance, pretending that I was helping him edit, while really just wallowing in where I was. Hope. Inspiration. Maybe a touch of nostalgia that left me wondering, "where is this nostalgia coming from?"

And after all that. All that thinking and pondering. Then we went to the Velodrome. Which, I guess is just a nice way of saying 'To Be Continued."

228: Designers Don't Read Books About Cycling

Have I made it apparent that I like books? Too much? Well, this one is about books as well. And if my calculations are correct (and I'm getting my calculations from Amazon) then today June 15th is the big day. Comic books used to come out on Tuesdays and I would run to the store to get them. Luckily, I am a bit more internet savvy these days, so I do not have to do any running.

I have been reading this book lately Designers Don't Read which I guess is mostly true, but it is probably because they are too hung up on the kerning of this, or whether all those text boxes line up or they have just been staring at the computer screen too long? (Joke)

Anyway, the book, by fellow Portland resident Austin Howe, is broken down into neat essays on various and sundry subjects. Each one of them has a title, but also a secondary header that is the minutes it takes to read the essay. I wonder how they came up with these numbers? The essays began as emails sent out to Howe's favorite designers around the country and ended up becoming this book. And most of them are really good. However, I keep coming back to one at the end. Admittedly, I've only read a few at the beginning and a few at the back. But the below snippet is something that I have been applying to everything that I have been seeing since reading it.

"Art" is the intersection of craft and self-awareness.

It works for everything. Literally. Let us say for a moment that bike racing is indeed Art. That at its highest levels these athletes are performing this insane balancing act that is the craft of their sport intermingled with the self awareness it takes to handle being at that level. But, I think that I will get back to that at some point in the near future.

Today, if it is indeed the 15th, would also happen to be the release date of Mr. Strickland's new book The Tour de Lance. And I think that the two books are related. Do yourself a favor cycling fans and get this book. Actually, get them both, support these literary arts.

I do not usually take notes when I read books. Sometimes, if I am feeling exceptionally rude, and only when I own the book myself, I will write something in the book itself. Or make a little dash or something to remind me later, when looking back through the book that there was something that caught my eye, held my interest for a minute longer, or stood out in the way that it was written. However, this time I kept notes. Furiously scribbled on an Ace Hotel Notepad, lining my own journal and even in the book, I took notes.

The tough thing about them is that my notes, especially if they are written in the height of passion, are almost totally illegible. They look sometimes like Ralph Steadman drawings without the lizards and dinosaurs. And at one point I wrote "FUCK YES" and circled that and drew and arrow towards something that looks like "Beelzebub is in the teamcar." Chew on that one for a minute. (That is not written anywhere in the book, I assure you.)

About a week before I received the book I got a call from Rich Bravo. Now, I don't know if you know this, because I give Rich Bravo a lot of shit, but, not only is he one of the smartest people I know, but he also knows his shit when it comes to books and literature...and writing...and the Classics (which is what he studied in College.)

"I'm reading Bill's new book." He says this to me in a fairly frank manner, maybe knowing that on the other side of the phone I'm clenching my fists in sheer jealousy, maybe not.

"Yeah? How is it?" I respond, obviously hiding my disappointment that I am not reading Bill's new book.

"Well, lets just put it this way, if Bill were a journalist in Vietnam instead of for Cycling and the Tour de France, he would win a Pulitzer for this." This statement coming from anyone else would make me laugh. "Tell me more." I say casually. "I don't know, you will have to read it, but I think what he does best, is not only make the subject accessible to everyone, but the insertion of his own personality into the story is so great that it gives it another dimension." DING — Intersection of Craft and Self-Awareness = Art.

The first weekend that I got the book I went for a long ride. It was sometime in March, but we had an unusually sunny and balmy day here in Portland. I had read the first few paragraphs of the book right before I left, standing awkwardly in the dining room of our house, probably making everyone else late in the process. These first few paragraphs (arguably the most important in the book) where he describes Armstrong's 2009 TT in Monaco at the start of the Tour de France would not leave me for the entirety of my ride.

And when I got home, stripped down to just bib shorts - their straps hanging down - and maybe one sock- and the same spot in the dining room is where I stood and finished the next few chapters.

It struck me a few days later that this book was going to mean something. That it would mean something more than a book about a Cancer survivor, or one of the greatest athletes ever to have lived, because at the base of it, really when he gets in and starts digging (by not digging) you will see that Lance has started to become human. That, as much as he works to fend it off, it still creeps in to everything that he does.

Now, I'm reading back over the last few paragraphs and I keep thinking "But you haven't said anything about the book." Like, an excerpt or something to really convince people that this really is the Bees Knees, as they say. I used a couple excerpts earlier this year, and that image of Menchov, the dying lion, is not one easily forgotten.

There is another one that I wrote down near the Menchov quote that was a such a good description of an exploding pack that I re-read it instantly. And have maybe thought of it a few times in races, whilst moving through a group of riders.

We drove up beside Morabito, the Swiss Astana rider. "We have to keep going," Craig said. We had to drive until we saw Lance. The gap to the break was down to 1:18. The pack seemed to be like a sack open on its downhill side and spilling out its contents as it got dragged upwards. We passed great great groups of riders, whose stench floated behind them...

It is these sweeping descriptions of the bike races that we (I) want to see and feel firsthand that make this account great. It is amazing to see the dirt under the fingernails of the riders (and writers), the gummy sharks that are the secret passage to the underworld that is professional cycling, and ultimately, the people surrounding the greatest cycling empire ever to have lived.

What I am really curious is to see what YOU think of the book.

Apparently, Mr. Armstrength himself was not fond of the book and his furrowed brow, as we all know, casts a wide net. Or however that phrase goes? I honestly kept a keen eye out for anything that could possibly harm the reputation of the golden child whilst reading.

The only thing that I could think that this book possibly does that would put a chink in the Armstrong armor? It makes him look human. And I think that is the one thing he is afraid of. Because, as soon as he's human, then he is just like the rest of us. And really? Who wants that?

227: Too Beef.

I put that photo first to draw you in. The thing you want to do with readers is draw them in. Lead with their eyeballs, your eyeball. Naked women. Works does it not? It is story #2 on the day. We will get to it. Do not worry. But, just a note. If you are looking at this blog post with your 1o year old, you might want to start the "What's a Stripper?" conversation right now.

It is books books books (and mags) these days. Usually it goes bikes bikes bikes, but something happened and I started reading again. But the thing is, I forgot is to tell you all about them because I was reading them. Out loud. Sometimes I get too caught up on this "real life" stuff and forget to, you know "pass it on."

New Bike

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I did get a new bike recently. See how the white tape glows? See the urban environs that I found to showcase this beast? It is a Ridley Helium. It has SRAM Red on it. Apparently, the Embrocation Team deemed me necessary to add to their ranks. And after said approval - new bike. So nice. Keep your eyes wide open for the review that will follow after a week of racing on it. We have PIR tomorrow and then Tabor on Wednesday, followed by the Mississippi Crit on Saturday. Cannot think of a better way to get back into shape.

I was very, very excited to pick it up at the Veloshop where Jake had assembled it for me. They do nice work there, have I mentioned that before? This town is not lacking in the ye olde bike shoppe department. The only problem when I went to pick up my new Murder Machine (that is what I had been calling it in private) was that I had been trumped by ANOTHER RIDLEY HELIUM. And you know what? I don't like being fucking shown up like that. I mean here I was picking up my brand new bike, which, if I can speak for myself, and I can, is pretty fucking awesome. And I get shown up by another bike, nay, the same bike, but done up better. What the eff is up with that?

Sorry for the swears.

"Beef don't come with a radio edit."

I'm looking into said bike. I'll get back to you. All I know at the moment is that it was stripped and repainted and then some Golden Screeching Eagle Di2 was added to it. Some fancy Edge Rims were strapped on and now I'm left looking like a sucker on the street. I am actually thinking that these two bikes might need to meet, on the streets, and settle this once and for all.

I got your Portland Bike Stud right here.

On Reading

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Speaking of Beef. Here are some books and Magazines that I've read recently. Let me know if something that I have not covered jumps out at you and I will try to get back to it. Seriously. Serrrriously. If it jumps out at you, it is probably because you think you might be into it. And I'm into that. But before you get too far into this... there has been a lot of reading and writing going round on just this subject. Even to an immense degree on these actual books. My pal Brian has been doing a great job of talking about publications and I would have never heard of some of them if I did not check thewashingmachinepost (what? he doesn't capitalise anything.) And there is a great piece there about Richard Sachs' New Yorker Collection.

Books:
Come and Gone by Joe Parkin — see below.

Tour de Lance by Bill Strickland — this one is no joke. I'm not even joking on the no joke thing. Order your copy on Amazon right now. I'll get back to it in a minute, but until then you will have to wait for the book report on this one.

Shop Class as Soul Craft by Matthew B. Crawford
The Official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception
The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson (read this every summer)
Our Story Begins by Tobias Wolff
The Best American Sports Writing of the Century
Ask the Dust by John Fante
Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

Mags and Papers:
Jacques
Monocle
Huck
Little White Lies (sister to Huck)
Inventory
Rouleur #17
Rouleur #18
ROAD
Wired
Bicycle Quarterly
Home and Away

Come and Gone
by Joe Parkin

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When you have troubles figuring out something you turn to your friends right? Apparently my friends then turn to Zombie movies as reference, which, I think, just goes to show that I have some pretty good friends.

Come and Gone is a snippet of bicycle racing from someone that was on the inside. And this is important, I think, and necessary. It makes me hopeful, that people are telling stories about bicycle racing in America. I for one, was not there, but I would still like to learn and hear about these things that happened. That shaped the culture of bike racing and molded it into what we see now before us.

It is also my hope that as these stories come out and people start telling them that they will just get better and better. This is where the Zombie movie reference comes in. No one thinks that Zombie movies are going to win Oscars. Some people do, but they aren't. And as Clint said tonight "Zombie movies are just about coming up with new and creative ways of killing the undead." So, I say this with Zombies in my heart and tears of the undead stinging eyes. This is not a good book.

I hope that you understand that I understand what it means to say that. I think that this book is very important, just not very good.

With A Dog in a Hat Parkin opened up and offered us a peak in through the doors of a world that most of us will never see. And it was such an exclusive look, into a time and place that anyone with any aspiration towards PRO was willing to overlook terrible writing to hold onto a little piece of that. This one is a less effusive glance into a world that Parkin was barely a part of. And I know that sounds harsh, but I think that is because he did not want to be a part of it. He wanted to stay in Belgium and tell the stories of the World Champion Road Racers that he met, of the World Championships that he raced in.

And now he is the editor of BIKE magazine. So, we shall see how that goes. Although I have to admit I'm curious about this post from April. One issue about Belgium. Ok, I'm listening.

Jacques Magazine
Brooklyn, NY

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"America's new Erotic Quarterly." Who could turn down a tagline like that? I admit, the thing that first sparked my curiosity were the video promos that Jacques does to accompany their issues. They are well shot, and they are, well, hot.

Squash, the Sports Issue Trailer.
These are totally safe for work, if whatever you do for work is awesome.

The thing is, I like that someone is putting this together. The stories inside are laced with humor, and women's underwear, and at the same time they are interesting, and a little heartbreaking. The Girls of Mons Venus, a strip club in Tampa, FL, tells the stories of the girls that work there.
And 37 year old Tamara has had cervical cancer and has to have more tumors removed, but she keeps working, because that is how you make money, by working.

The design, layout and format of the publication is great. It is great because in an airbrushed world of stick skinny fake boobed models it is apparent that that these are real people. They are real people in their full selves, they come alive in their awkward acknowledgments of the sex trades that they ply. And they are real people that want to be sexy for you.

The large print format gives it more than ample opportunity to do just that as well. In a time where magazines are being shrunk (Alpinist?) and distilled Jacques stands out once again. At the same time it tends to stand out if you leave it lying on your desk at work for weeks at a time. The other great aspect (besides the naked girls, cool format, and accompanying videos) about Jacques is that it is cheap. Or relatively so. So, you know, support the arts. Get one.