126: All things Cross.

Sorry to say that I will be missing out on the festivities. Went to their event at Wheelworks last year and it was pretty crazy. People were buying raffle tickets as long as their arms. Longer even and coming away with some pretty sick prizes. Mo is one of the greats in New England Cycling (and she has a pretty kick ass mechanic too) so get out there and support their endeavor MM Racing. And Congrats to her on her win last weekend in VT. And one more point of interest: She is currently tied with Katie Compton for the most USAC Points. Niiice.


Mr. Joe Staples and I went out to P.I.R. to do some teaching on Monday night. We ended up teaching people how to dismount properly (have no fear, I will teach them the East Coast Step Through next time), how to keep your elbow in as you cross barriers, and we taught shouldering techniques as well. But before that happened we gave what one might call an Embrocation Session. This is where we explain what Embrocation is and how to fully utilize its magical capabilities.

Luckily for you Mike Davis from PDX Cross was there to capture the whole experience.

It got me to thinking though. I have already seen some great cross racing this year. In Vegas. Did I mention that I went to Vegas?

Cross Vegas is one of those rare bike races. Equal parts industry party, Mad Max desert romp, and lung busting Cyclocross racing (apparently something in the astroturf does the lung busting). So, I am always excited when I can get out and see the action. But, who is the first person that I see when I walk through those Pearly Cyclocross Gates? Well, none other than my good friend Dylan from Yakima. The same Dylan who has put together this little School of Cross.

He always talks about his Bike Vigilante friends. I'm thinking that this must be them. But, who knows really? I have certainly been wrong before.

As I was putting up these past few photos I actually received an email from Dylan inviting me over for dinner tomorrow night with his lovely girlfriend Erin (which is not one of those three girls in the top photo.) Am I still invited?

In any case, I had some cross racing to watch.

Molly was there. Killing it. Adam was there. Also Killing it, but maybe saving a little for the next night. Chris Jones came in second (what? it was dry) to Jamey Driscoll (what? he's from VT) and J. Page was in the mix as well.

I'm calling it right now. This is going to be both Molly Cameron and Jonathan Page's years, respectively. I'm just putting it out there. And I am really hoping that the MC decides to head back to Euro-land. I didn't get enough of P. Tachalet at Interbike...and he told me the good news. He finally got heat in his house, so this time when I come to stay I will not have to freeze my ass off all night.

125: And an Ass to Match.

I can just bet that you're still beating yourself up over that one. "What could he have meant by that?" Seriously, don't leave me hanging here in the dark Mr. Dunn. Well, I'll show you what I meant by that because I had quite a few good times in the Speedplay booth this year.

Bam! There was this, for one. Now, I'm not exactly sure where they got this leg mannequin, but someone told me that it was actually modeled after Cancellara himself. Well sir, if that is the case, then you've got yourself a nice little booty going on there. Nay, you've got yourself an Ass. I'm just going to say it. In fact its quite possible that there is a little something hanging out in the back of that chamois...

Why was I spending time in the Speedplay booth? Well, for one David Alvarez is an employee of theirs and one of my favorite people in the whole of the cycling industry. Why? Well if for no other reason that he speaks about 13 different languages (one of them being the mystical, magical flemish). David and I met at the Tervuren race last December. Yet, was this to be our last encounter? No.

He speaks Flemish, so, chances are he knew what he was getting himself into when he boarded the Tom Boonen Fanclub Bus in April for the running of this little road race called Paris Roubaix. Well, in any case, he wrote a piece for Embrocation Volume 4 about his experiences on the bus. Shit, I almost forgot Embro Team Racer Pete Bradshaw was with him. Apparently getting shitcanned with Boonen's drunkard cousins. In any case the piece looks something like this...


What else was cool about the Speedplay booth? The Embrocation team pedals (little joke) looked pretty nice. They were green to match the kits. I have never used the Speedplay pedal system before, but some people swear by it and others seem to be on the fence. Thoughts?

The only thing that I could not figure out for the life of me, is why Italian men in polka dot shirts kept coming up and sniffing the saddle? I mean really going for it as well, not just wafting like they teach you in science class. These guys were getting down and dirty with this saddle. Nose hairs were touching the top of it. Maybe it was only to capture a moment a split second, a hint of the promise that Pellizotti offers?

And while I am at it.

Where did this site come from? And why is it so hot? The Layout, the photos, the actual content. Um. Thanks.

124: Where to Start?

How to know your pro? Color photo in the Boston Herald. AND when they lay out the photo, the front wheel is literally bursting from the frame. AND we all know that Kyler knows how to look pro. Damn that shit is "tite!" Just sayin'.

INCOMING:
Here is what I've got coming up for you. I'll break them down in the order that they happened. Last week we left for Vegas in the middle of Monday. A week later and if I said that I was reeling from the week that just happened, I'd be lying. Reeling is putting it lightly.

You don't believe me? Check my Twitter. It was an amazing way to quickly document the show and now offers me a little fodder to go back through and check. Might actually be an interesting way to do some of the blog posts, just update the twitter post with a lengthier bloggy one. Then update the blog post with a magazine article and then eventually a book on the subject. And then in no time we will be flying. What they hell am I talking about?

LAST WEEK:

Monday
Left for Vegas, drove for what seemed to be days, but which was really just hours. Ate a whole bunch of crap and stayed at a hotel in Weed, California. Yes please. Kicked off a long train of unusually bad eating, which included: McDonalds (twice in one day), more soda than you can shake a stick at, various and sundry flavors of chips, gummi something-or-others, Taco Bell (are you getting sick yet?), a corndog, pastrami, more chips, Starbucks, salty liquorice... I'm just going to stop...

Tuesday
More driving. Lots of driving and lots of driving on very, very straight roads. Then a big lake and then some more driving on straight as hell roads. Through hell. And then, finally when you thought it couldn't get any better, we rolled into Vegas. Showered, drank a bunch of booze, at burritos (probably the best meal in Vegas) and then drank until I couldn't see or think straight.

Highlights: Junk Food, Traveling Companions, Hilarity Ensues,
Lowlights: See above (kidding, the companions were the best part)

Wednesday
Hit the show for a few hot minutes. Handed out some invites and then headed back to the Artisan Hotel to prep for the party action. Did that for a few hours before heading to Cross Vegas. Shot photos of Dylan with every attractive...um...person available. Interviewed a Belgian friend who was more than pissed at the lack of Beer stands, and then watched former (note I said former) bike racers schmooze it up for each other (ahem Cannings). Loaded a bunch of people into a pre-arranged bus and then headed back to the party. Saw some MASH folks and promptly lost my Pink Rapha Logo T-shirt to our buxom bartender GG. Great gal, but I kind of want my shirt back.

Highlights: Seeing old friends at the show, Cross Racing, Chris Distefano, Party Time, The Artisan Hotel, Jeremy Powers DJ Set, Andy Clark, people packing the shit out of the Artisan, absolutely anyone involved with Knog, Molly Racing (AND HER RIDER CARDS!!)

Lowlights: People hacking up Lungs from Dry Racing Conditions, Jeremy Powers being booted (by the management) off the wheels of steel after one song, not enough time with Kaiko and Mike, completely missing Rob Vandermark and B. Quirk,

Thursday
Show day, well, mostly. The hotel rooms in Vegas get unusually dark when the shades are drawn, throwing ones sense of time and place into a whirlwind of confusion. And making one sleep well past the time that normal people should sleep. Headed to the show a little late but got to see a few key people and talk about things like: Rapha, advertising, Embrocation article ideas (some really great stuff will come out of this). Then it was back to the hotel for a minute before piling into the trusty white whale and heading over to Mandalay Bay for some Crit Championship action.

Highlights: Hot new Embrocation Socks, Espresso at the Fizik Booth, Bike racing Adam Myerson style, Moots, Ridley, Asian Food (always drink hot tea and you can eat as much as you want and not feel full and gross), Hanging out with James Selman and Ben from Freeman Transport. Twitter action. Seeing Thayne Nord. Hanging out with Jason and Craig Roth made me feel like I was back in Boston.

Lowlights: Walking around all day eating Power Samples (powerbar, power gel, goo, electrolite goo, powerballs?), The George W. Busch photo in the Kenda Booth (not a great idea guys), a fake mud covered bike in the Kuota booth (not even a good idea guys)

Friday
To the show for a few quick meetings. I only say 'meetings' because then it sounds professional. Got to see the inside of the Oakley black cave of death, but only by peering in from the outside as Katarina Nash came stumbling out clutching 40 new pairs of Oakleys. Looks nice in there. Then it was drive time again, back to PDX, but not before a quick stop at In N Out Burger. So good. Before I left though had a great chat with Bob Roll on how much he likes Embrocation Cycling Journal, there's Video on that too. Then we headed back into the desert.

Highlights: Bob Roll, Steve Blick and the LOOK stickers. More espresso. Playing "Where's Waldo" with all of the Independent Fabrication Bikes (Whipperman, Cane Creek, the CO2 Inflaters, EDGE. Am I missing any?) Dan Sharp and I running around on the floor like madmen, the release action on the Time Road Pedals and the Time booth in general. Bern headphones. Military case sales at the side of the road.

Lowlights: Leaving the Artisan Hotel behind. So long. The booth with the leg rollers. Rushing. Chrome's boombox, looking towards another drive. Assy People.

Saturday
Drive Drive Drive Drive, Listen to music, Drive Drive Drive. Eat some candy. Drive Drive Drive. Laugh at some funny shit that Carey, Slate, Dan or Dave say. Drive Drive Drive. God its good to be back Best Homecoming ever. Steaks, drinks, fellowship, laughs..

Sunday
Wake up late and read the newspaper. Go straight to sports section and look for some cycling. Be disappointed with the above from NY Times. Then race some Cyclocross. "Oh, I wonder how that went?" you might be asking yourself. See above. Especially the parts where it says things like: driving, junk food, drinking, party, McDonalds....

"And on Monday we be at it again."

More later.

123: In Season.

There is always so much to talk about. I love it.

What should I start with?

a) The party at Interbike that we are throwing? You know, the one that J. Powers is going to guest dj a set?
- what do YOU want to see from Interbike by the way? Products? Pros? Pasties?
-will Rapha/Embrocation/Ridley/Fizik/IF/KNOG party outdo Sinclaire Snoozefest?
(Secret: you don't have to buy 8 million Campy units to attend)
- Will Jon Cannings propose marriage to Liz Hatch here?

b) the sick sick sick postcards that D. Sharp made from his Giro trip this year... that has an acompanying photo book called...nah I'm not about to give all that away.

c) Volume Four is here and shipping!!

We got new helmets. This is a good place to start.

Got to race some cyclocross this past weekend. While everyone was out having fun in the mud and rain that was Starcrossed, I snuck away to Hood River, Oregon to try out their version of my favorite sport. The day started out well, pissing rain and looking to be muddy (which warmed my heart ever so much) that changed as soon as I stepped out of the car however. The sun came out, the track dried up and we were left with a dirt crit once again.

Great racing though.

Steven Hunter on the runup.

My roommate and PRO cross racer Steven Hunter (I figure if I watch his every move someday I'll be able to keep up) placed 4th. And looked great in his Veloshop kit. He and I recently sat down in front of the ol Computer and with the help of our good friend Mr. Illustrator we magically produced a new Veloshop kit. Stay tuned for that.

Speaking of Molly Cameron, she placed well at Starcrossed. 12th Well. Way to go Molly. Even taking a few rungs out of the spindly Barry Wicks. Good on you. Although from what I hear, Mr. Wicks has a new Mix CD that he is passing around. I am going to try and get ahold of it at Vegas this week. Stay tuned fearless readers.

I did hit up MC though and asked for 10 things that she liked from the Starcrossed race. Here are her responses:

1. Barry Wick's new mixtape.
2. rain! rain! bring the slickness!
3. racing at night under the lights, in a wet, slick velodrome.
4. the crazy loud supporters - hearing your name in every corner!
5. bumpy race venues, I like.
6. Troy Wells racing with a hangover
7. clipping out of my pedals in the jarring sprint finish
8. coming together with pals not often seen. a reunion to announce the coming season.
9. racing against Euro PROs (always gratifying)
10. Zac Daab - everything is awesome about that guy: MFG, CBS,

Oh I love it. The Dirt. The Grime. The Hangovers.

Welcome back Cyclocross, oh how I missed you. I've been thinking of you recently because I'm supposed to be writing something for our mutal friend Richard Sachs. I just get all caught up in the moment when I try to write to that guy. Sigh. There is just too much good stuff to say.

Back to the drawing board.

122: In Session.

Its kind of unclear how this really came about. I've been thinking back through how it all broke down. I think it went something like this.


Joe said he knew this guy at work who used to be a pro motocross racer (Thor). That's his bike above. Apparently those things go real fast off road. Not only that but someone was telling me recently (and this could be a fabrication of my mind, I'm not sure) that motocross racers (motocrossers?) are some of the fittest athletes around.

In any case I suggested we should try and moto-pace behind him on the dirt, with cross bikes. So, the Ira Ryan and Mr. Igleheart and a Raleigh SS shaped like a beer can made the trip out to some unknown location to give it a try.


Then Dylan said we should film it, and magically Dave showed up. I'm not going to lie, it did take a little bit of convincing on all parts. "But Guys, it will be AWESOME." I know that we must eschew your wife and his girlfriend for the evening, but I promise, its gonna be good." The light? Don't even worry about it, we've got light for days.


As Dan Action once said "I love when a plan comes together." We only had a few short minutes of light, so we just threw the bikes out of the van and went for it. But first we made sure that Dave was safely strapped to Thor's back. People, just so you know, these guys are professionals (not the Dusty Chimps in the lycra) the shooter and the driver. Do not try this at home (or if you do, at least document it).


Everything went off according to plan though. No one got hurt. At least not visibly. I realized that maybe, if you're riding 20 some odd miles per hour behind a dirtbike through a busted, rutted field that maybe you should back it off just a notch. Nah, I'm joking, turn that fucker up to eleven. Or in this case go full throttle.

Myles (GO SEE THIS SHOW) was just here and he said that he was worried that the film would turn people off to the School of Cross? Crazy Talk I say, we just needed to work out the kinks so that when we step into that arena (teaching that is) we would be ready to drop some knowledge. Trust me though when I say that we will drop that knowledge gently. Seriously. Can't wait to see everyone on Monday.

Now lets go race some cross shall we?

121: Dispatches

I'm sorry for the quality of the photo. It was taken with a phone. It makes me think of one of those old Sasquatch photos. Grainy, yet you know exactly what is going on there (man in a furry suit). Kidding, we all know that is real.

The New Embrocation Cycling Journal is here. And shipping. And looking amazing! Any of the back-orders that people have been waiting on. Well, they're going out the door today and tomorrow. Rather, they went out today and more of them will be going out tomorrow. You get the idea.

Yesterdays News Today!
Ira and Graeme have been in France lately for the CCC, otherwise known as the Cent Col Challenge. Initially I thought to myself. Well that sounds pretty friggin hard. I do not know if I could do that. How would Ira be able to train for something like this? Would he up his mileage? Start sleeping on the cold hard floor of his new house? Smash his knees and elbows into oblivion in preparation for the shattering climbs? What indeed would he do?

I went on a ride with him once before he left. We got to mile 45 and were so loopy climbing up through the trees that he mentioned "maybe the tree's have got it all figured out, we (humans) just keep racing around trying to get away from everything and they just stay rooted (pun intended) to the ground. Looking, watching (judging-bastards)." We had a good laugh and then continued on our merry way.

Then I reminded him that in a few short weeks he would be doing ten climbs a day that were ten times harder than what we were doing currently. He got that stone-faced look on and started plugging away at the miles. Jeesus, sorry.

Then, today, I get this in my inbox with the attached message.

Hey Jeremy, Ira asked me to send these your way, here he's sporting Embro socks on the Col de Madeleine, and below are my legs all-'Belgique' if you will at the end of the ride. filth and waffles. We're having a whale of a time here, wish you were here -a bien tot mon amies, Graeme


This is what I get? I try to help you train for the big miles. The largest hills that you've ever faced, and I'm left to wonder "are they even riding anything at all?" They could be just puttering around for all I know, from Waffle stand to Waffle stand. Eating tasty Belgian treats and slatering goo all over their legs. Graeme! Ira! this is not what we trained for. Back to work.

Ira, I like your socks. But something tells me we might have something new coming along in the next couple of weeks.

Rapha's response to this has been equally astonishing. Here these gentlemen are pouring out their hearts (stomachs) and souls (again, stomachs) and all our counterparts can do is make a mockery of their trials and tribulations by making it into some kind of a joke. (Actually I'm rather liking the editing of the videos - and Joe - have you been losing weight?) Feel free to get back to me whenever you wish on that one, because I'm sure you haven't been sleeping after that little bout with espresso.





More after the jump...

120: What's New(s).

BQ's write up on the Competitive Cyclist Blog was the best thing that I read today. What's New is one of these things that I follow on my "Google Reader." Although it isn't one of these write ups that lets you read everything through the reader, it makes you click out to get the whole story. Genius. I mean, that's the only way to get people to your website right? Let them see that there is something new lingering out there, hang it like a carrot, and then make them work for it.

Well, I work for it. It is one of the writings each week that I, in fact, savor reading. I open it up in my browser and then let it hang out and marinate there for the rest of the day. Maybe I'll dip in at lunch time, click through a few links and see what musings permeate through the day.


Today was exceptional. It starts off with an amazing quote from Jeremy Powers (who is now slated to make a guest appearance at a certain party next week) on how to pick up women in Belgium. I'm paraphrasing but he states that a Quickstep rider told him he has his soigneur place a photo of himself with his number on the back in his mussette and then throws it out to a pretty girl in the crowd. Amazing.

I'm just imagining one of these burly, smoking Belgian mafiosos getting ahold of that card and then having a perma-boner for Pozzato for the rest of his life. Afraid, yet excited at the same time that he has the man's number. Never using it. But smiling every time he watches Pippo come in second at Roubaix (which he will again next year) because he knows Pippo is doing it just for him. Maybe I should finally throw out that card of Johan Vansummerin that I wrestled out of his girlfriends angry hands?


RGR (Rapha Gentleman's Race)
Gentleman's race was awesome. Can we do this every weekend? Actually we can't, because my legs would quite literally fall off of my body. This is the best time of riding that I've had in a long time. I think that Slate Olson has got it right when he comes up with the right mixture of distance, terrain and commeraderie. It just makes everyone happy. (Plus, I got him on camera saying that he just puts them on so that he doesn't have to actually race them.)

Sheild your eyes when you look at this link. They're bright and white. But the full results of the race are somewhere in there too. The gloves are awesome by the way.

Why don't we have a Cyclocross version of this? I know that in the U.K. they have the Three Peaks Race. Why do we not have one here in Portland?


My team? Also amazing. But more on that later. Dave Roth, the man behind the curtain for H.U.P. United was kind enough to let me utilize his GoPro cameras. So, that is exactly what I did. Went Pro. All one hundred and thirty eight miles of the race. Save it though, build it up because it will be good. Promise. Here is a little taste though.



Don't worry, you do not have to look at me for too long. The only thing that I couldn't figure out was which clamp I needed to tighten to get the camera to stop slipping. It wasn't good. I would be riding along, trying not to die and realize that the camera was pointing down. Some good (foot)age came from it though. (How boring would I be if I didn't crack myself up.)

Pretty sure that this guy got some good footage too. If you are new to this Blog (do new people find it?) he has been the driving force behind some great video stuff. Some of his new videos just went up on the Rapha Continental site last week actually. Check out the Wednesday Matinee. There is something like six new videos up there. All of them great. Rumor has it that he is going to be in the area for a little while. Should be good fun.


Also, one last note for the night. Whomever it was that commented last week on my overuse of the " ' " apostrophe. Thanks for that. I really do overuse it. However, one little comment like that and now I am (I'm) rechecking everything that I type to a point of obsession. Thank you I think it is a good thing.

Up next. Best fashion blog around (or only one I've looked at) from a 13 year old girl. No Joke.

119: What's in your pocket sir?

Has anyone else realized that I like ping-pong? My father was in town a couple weeks ago and we got to play a few games down at a place called Ron Tom's. Whew. What a place. A man named Igor stepped in for a few too. Warning: If someone named Igor wants to play ping-pong with you, politely decline.



Someone asked me what I was taking on the RGR (Rapha Gentleman's Race) this weekend. The photo above is just an example. A base if you will. This was from my 100 miler a couple weeks ago with Ira. Now he's over in Norway or something Nordic and Cold being a male model for Rapha and Ira Ryan cycles. Ah, the life.

So, here is what we have above.

At least one extra tube.
Tire Lever. Realized later that I had two sets. Which I'm ok with.
Lezyne pump. Bite sized awesomeness.
Smashed Ira Ryan cycling cap. It got too hot.
Knog Porno Patch Kit
Cliff Trash
Camera in platic bag. I sweat a lot.
Food (these slim packages of nuts work well)
Keys. You never know when you might want to get back in your house.

Now this is what I took for a light, quick, hundred mile jaunt, and it wouldn't be too much different for the race this weekend. Although I might make a few adjustments to compensate for the fact that this one is a "race" and not a "ride." I put those in quotes because the first one was with Ira, so it tends to trend more toward the "race" end of things.

Additions:
An extra water bottle.
Definitely a peanut butter sandwich. (Learned this one from Pete Smith)
iPod shuffle (pink) - one earbud only. looks pro. like race radio.
Another Tube.
Travel Size Embro Packets. They look like condiments and travel well.
A Cue Sheet? One with the turns large enough to read.
Go Pro Cameras (2). For documentation purposes only.

Might carry some of those little salt pills too. Or some powdered electrolytes in a baggie. That always comes in handy. I'm just going to play it by ear, or possibly wait till we catch up to the people who overstuffed their pockets and help them lighten their loads.

However curiously I'm not riding with the Rapha Continental guys. They've put together a pretty strong crew of dudes to represent that end of things. I've ridden with all of them except their mystery rider so I can safely say watch out for these guys. Dark Horse team much? James "Carp" Selman is leading the charge though. Gentleman first, Honorary Conti Rider second (but in no way less than first, excepting in the fact that its second.) Word on the street is that they pulled in a ringer from out of state as well?

I'll see if we can get a thought or two out of them on the way by.

Just another quick note on products and stuffing products. A big thank you to Lezyne for creating these products. Apparently (and I'm checking on this so bare with me) the guy who designed all these products used to be a designer/owner of Truvativ? Huh. Well, thanks for making something that is not only fashionable (fits in your pocket) but functional (it actually works).

118: Gentlemanly Behavior.

This is me on my trainer by the pool. Eat it.

Everyone has been asking me about the Gentleman's Race that is coming up this weekend. How have you been training? What's your top end lactic threshold? Tell me about Watts. Explain the Mystery that is Racing.

I can't do that for two reasons.

1) Road Racing is somewhat of a Secret and I'd have to put that satin bag on my head and modulate my voice.

2) One word. Experiential.

That is a word right?

The truth of the matter is this. I don't really know how to explain it to you aside from taking you out on a bicycle and riding around the hills and Dalles that are the Portland area (little joke). So, I did the next best thing. Research.



And who better to tell you about Gentlemanly Style Racing than the Badger himself. Evil Ryan told me about this book a couple days ago. Honestly I'd never heard or seen it before (ok, laugh, guffaw, get it out) but it is AMAZING. In fact, every page is filled with absolute awesomeness.

Plus it has some tips about bike racing too.


The back cover alone is filled with more information than I could ever hope to disseminate on these web based pages. But the one that sticks out for me there is "How to use your opponent to help you win." I read that chapter three times. It starts out like this... "Make sure that your opponent is on the same team as yourself, then you'll never lose." Hmm (another little joke?) Greg? Chime in when you get a chance.


Seriously good stuff in this book though. I got it for $10 on Amazon. Crazy place that Amazon. The Training and Technique section has a lot of good stuff too. Like, how to wear Look shorts and make your gloves look really beat up.

I'll be taking most of my cues from this one though. Nice and relaxed. One hundred and thirty eight miles of Relaxed. Sigh. Lucky for me I'm going to be testing out these beauties this weekend at the race... I'm thinking that the White Pro Team Mitts will match my Kit nicely. Wait, what? "J, you don't wear a white kit. Do you?" We'll see...

Two Thumbs Up.

I know, I know. I'm a dork.